Wow! The response to Part I of this field guide was unexpected! It's clear from how popular Part I was that many people recognized these categories of men in their online dating experience. Just this week,
Time magazine published an article mapping out the reasons why you should let someone else choose your Tinder photo, and the photos from Part I and this part of my Online Dating Field Guide for Women illustrate why!
In
Part I, I broke down the first category -
the macho men - and the seven subcategories within that first category. There are so many macho men! It was difficult to know where to stop. Like these fine fellows:
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| This looks like a great idea said no woman ever |
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| Please note: multiple levels of badassery here. First, on the lower level, our suitor is mounted on his motorcycle. Next we see a firearm mounted on the wall below what appears to be a raven, definitely a scary bird according to Poe. Finally at the top level, we see what appears to be a large metal hook. Top it all off with that pleasingly badassed expression...This dude might take the prize for the most macho in one single shot. |
With Part II, I pick up with the other six categories of men on dating sites. So without further ado, here is the list!
Online Dating for Women: A Field Guide, Part II
Married Dudes: These dudes are married, whether they openly admit it, or just forgot to take their wedding ring off for their profile photo. These are some of the most dangerous men in the wild. Do Not Approach (unless you have absolutely zero sense of self worth and dignity).
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| Hey buddy, that bass is nice ... and so is your wedding ring. |
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| Please note the stated occupation: gynecologist. Classy. Even spelled wrong. |
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| Yes, we're disgusted with you too. |
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| What a cute couple! |
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| I stole her heart (in 2015 according to the photo), so she stole his name. Think she still has it? |
Anonymous Dudes (who are likely married dudes): For whatever reason, these dudes do not want to be identified. The creative ways they disguise themselves is often downright creepy.
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| We are anonymous |
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| No words... |
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| Not really into hand puppets |
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| Men who objectify themselves part I. "Interests are Mopar, NASCAR and sex." |
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| Men who objectify themselves part II. "Laid back easy going professional..." cough, cough |
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| What in the actual fuck? I have no caption for this |
Dudes who look like famous dudes: The resemblance is uncanny...
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| Who knew Donald Trump was on Tinder? |
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| or Iggy Pop! |
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| "I was an extra in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy." |
Androgynous Dudes: These dudes make us say hmmm ...
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| Not only am I quite certain this person is not 37 years old, I question other things as well |
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| This person has a very masculine name despite their outward appearance. |
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| Again, very masculine name, and all of the Ohio State bling indicates manliness...but |
Tune in next time for (hopefully) the final special edition of my Online Dating Field Guide for Women!
And remember: don't be
that dude.
All names and occupations of subjects have been removed to protect their identity.
